Getting my brain in order

Holy moly, it's been in interesting few weeks. Just trying to wrap my brain around a sliver of it is too much to bear some days. In some ways, I see exactly how far I have come, but in others, I see exactly how far it is I have to go.

There are many difficult things that people have to do in their lives. There are many lessons to learn and changes to make. Some are considerably harder than others. Yesterday, I did the absolutely most difficult thing I have ever done in my life. Above and beyond getting out of an abusive relationship. Harder than having plans for a healthy child blow up in my face and dealing with the fallout. Harder than getting my center back. Harder than being confident in myself.

I took a stand against my abuser. I filed paperwork to change a wrong into a right. Nobody has ever told the truth to his face, including me. And there it is on paper for the world to see now. He will be served tomorrow.

I am terrified, but I am sick of being bullied and belittled. I am done walking on eggshells and keeping my mouth shut. I'm finished with letting him walk all over me. I will not let this person become the blueprint that my child will study as he becomes a man. No way.

There are so many reasons why.