The Special Mother

A friend of mine posted this on Facebook. It really hit home with me because of everything I have been through with Payton, so I thought I would share it here.

Her nursing instructor sent it to her. She had just graduated before she gave birth to her beautiful son. At four months old, he had a heart transplant and has been struggling with cancer ever since. My friend is such a strong woman. I think of her and her son nearly every day.

The Special Mother

Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressure and a couple by habit. This year nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of handicapped children.

Did you ever wonder how these women are chosen? Somehow I visualize God hovering over Earth selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As he observes, he instructs his angels to take notes in a giant ledger.

"Armstrong, Beth, son. Patron Saint, Matthew."
"Forrest, Marjorie, daughter. Patron Saint, Celia."
"Rutledge, Carrie, twins. Patron Saint... giver her Gerald. He's used to profanity."

Finally he passes a name to the angels and smiles. "Giver her a handicapped child."

The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? She's so happy."

"Exactly," smiles God. "Could I give a handicapped child to a mother who knows no laughter? That would be cruel."

"But does she know patience?" asks the angel.

"I don't want her to have too much patience, or she'll drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off she'll handle it. I watched her today. She has that sense of self and independence so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has a world of its own. She has to make it live in her world, and that's not going to be easy."

"But Lord, I don't think she even believes in you."

God smiles. "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness."

The angel gasps, "Selfishness? Is that a virtue?"

God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she will never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't know it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a spoken word. She will never consider a step ordinary. When her child says mama for the first time, she will be witness to a miracle and know it. I will permit her to see clearly the things I see -- ignorance, cruelty, prejudice -- and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side."

"And what about her Patron Saint?"

God smiles. "A mirror will suffice."

Yikes.

Time flies and I've been really really bad about posting daily pictures.

I have decided that I'm not going to beat myself up about it. So much on the outside of the computer screen has been changing and I can barely keep up with that.

So it is what it is.

When I have them, I have them. When I don't, I don't. C'est la vie. I wonder how many I will post in a years time. I have to say that it will be considerably more that I would have if it were not for Project 365! So that is a step in the right direction.

More to follow today...