The new project

So that legendary bird sat on my shoulder a few months back and whispered, hey lady, you have quite a story to tell. Why yes, I do, says I to my fluttering avian friend. Recent events have prompted me to look into the publishing world and I found that not only is it very difficult to get a book published, the subject matter on which I was planning to focus on is a very tough sell to all the various publishing houses. I thought I would try anyway and quickly discovered that my brain does not function in such a linear fashion. What was pouring out of my pen and onto my crisp and crunchy new notebook was cathartic, but would there be interest in the way I was telling it? Maybe, maybe not. Not to be self-depreciating and if I was really really telling myself the truth, probably not. I don't have an English degree, or pure journalism experience, or a sharp pen with which to capture everything in such a succinct way that it would be a smooth read from start to finish.

So I thought, well then, how the heck will I be able to do this? To put everything down in words that form stories with injections of images and other inspirational thoughts can be rather fractal. I also tend to lean to the randomness of my world and to organize myself to the degree required to write a novel just ain't gonna happen. No way, no how. Not for all the hippos in the world, though my four year old gem of a child will be very disappointed, to say the least.

OK.

And there it was, looking me square in the face. Not only do I keep a quasi blog of sorts, but I read about four "mommy blogs" and three other thought collection blogs every single day. Duh. I very much enjoy the candid nature of them and I like the way that they can make you feel like you are in that person's living room with them through the power of wit and word. Every morning, I get all kinds of excited to open up my web browser to see what new and wonderful stories I can absorb about my favorite persons on the Internet. Hey!!! I can have one of those, too!

Eventually, this blog will move to it's own website. And wow! Lookie there! I have the great and wonderful privilege of being recently married to the most amazing computer dork in the world. He builds amazing websites for people for a JOB. Wow. JACKPOT! (Thank you baby doll and love of my life, even though you have no idea what you are getting into yet.) And I have nothing but time on my hands to bombard my little spot on the web with all my ramblings and musings.

The story I have to tell will be revealed in juicy little nuggets as I am reminded of them and have the need to share. It's one of pain and death - of others and of mine, of re-building and new growth, of healing and happiness, of food and inspirations and most importantly the love I have for those I choose to surround myself including my kick-ass husband, children and most importantly, the new-found respect I have for myself. I have been through many months of painful therapy and have come out on the other side with the ability to look back without all the black thunder clouds of emotion that were plaguing me for the better part of a decade. If I am able to help just one person by writing down my experiences and solutions, then my work will be even that much more complete. Just one person to say - oh my, I thought I was the only one going through this and holy crap you survived and I can do it too. That would mean the absolute world to me. Hippos and all.

Thanks, little bird.